Sent out the email to my department and to other fellow co-workers last night. That was very hard for me to do. My heart was racing as I typed but after I was done, I felt so relieved. Now everyone that is close to me at work knows and I can move forward. I really need to be relaxed this week and holding onto it and worrying about everyone knowing was draining me.
I look at my work email and notice that I am receiving emails back. OMG, each and every one of them have made me cry. Ok, I know I have a good heart and I try to make everyone feel loved but I really did not realize how many people loved me back. Most gave me their phone numbers and said to call whenever. One even said call at 2:00 a.m. in the morning. I hope she doesn't regret that statement. However, I am sitting here thinking, "Who do I call first. I have so many people to choose from." So I have decided to do this. I don't want to call the same person too much. Cause I don't want to burden any one person too much. So, I am going to put all the names in a hat. So far, I have about 100 people that said they didn't mind if I called. And whenever I need to talk to someone, cry with someone or just laugh with someone, I will pick out a name. Then I will discard that name and start over the next time. Now that way, not one person is bugged too much!! :) However, I do feel so very sorry for that 2:00 a.m. person who gets drawn from the hat!! LOL
The most shocking email I received today came from Colleen Barrett. This very busy and very intelligent woman found time in her life, to email me about my situation. Let me say, she sent me an email that was long, encouraging and heartfelt. It showed me why I love Southwest Airlines so much. This is truly a company that cares about so many others but it truly cares about their own. Funny that God is sending so many people my way. My own family isn't that close and I have prayed for the type of family that loves, cares and supports no matter what. Well, God listened when he allowed me to walk into those doors at SWA headquarters on October 13, 2008. On that day, I got the family that I so prayed for.
I am going to print out the emails to read on the days when I feel down and I need something to lift me up. I have received so many back that are so sweet and so loving. I just want everyone to know that those emails will help me keep my faith up. I know I am very strong and I know I will beat it but I am human. So I also know that there will be times when I will be down. But those emails will lift me back up when I feel I can't get up myself.
Today was nice. Apartment shopped with my son, hung out at the mall, ate some really good food, went to a movie and now at his home resting. Yes, my mind tried to wonder about the surgery and what to expect. But quickly as it entered my mind, I diverted my attention to something else. Thank goodness for my IPhone. The Holy Bible application allows me to read scripture whenever I need to help me relax. One I read today was helpful: Psalm 28:7 says, "The Lord strengthens and protects me; I trust in him with all my heart. I am rescued and my heart is full of joy; I will sing to him in gratitude." Right now, I am trusting that God has this and I have to have faith that all will be alright. Cancer isn't a death sentence for everyone. I have to tell myself that because I need to not allow that to bother me. It is crazy how your mind plays games with you. Being positive right now is something I have to constantly work on because dread just keeps trying to creep in. So for me, the word of God is my armor. I stand behind it and then I feel safe!!
Tired and time to go to bed!! Already getting sad, cause Monday is coming fast. I don't want to leave my son but I know I have to go home and get ready for my lovely surgery on Wednesday!! Thank God that I have Kristina in my corner. I feel good knowing that she is going to be with me every step of the way. I know Ron would want to be there but he can't miss summer school! I will be fine. I got this.
No comments:
Post a Comment