It's so hard to say goodbye!!

Today was a different kind of day!!  Woke up, ate breakfast, took a shower and then it dawned on me.  Today I must say goodbye to a part of my body that I have had a close relationship with since I was 13 years old.  My precious right breast.  As I got out of the shower and dried off, I couldn't stop staring at it and realizing that in the morning, it will be cut off and I will never see it again. Gone it will be. Yet, am I being selfish. There are people who don't have one of their limbs.  It is just a breast, right??? Removing it is giving me life.  So if this is so true, why does it hurt so bad to say goodbye???

Received a phone call from this wonderful woman who works with the Susan G. Komen organization.  This was such an encouraging and helpful phone call.  She answered my questions and just listened to whatever I as saying. She understood where I was in this journey and she helped me feel more calm about what was going to happen to me. Before we hung up the phone, she said she wanted to come see me.  I thought that was very kind that she wanted to.  It actually made me excited to visit with her.

Got dressed and went to our Annual Work Boat Trip.  I was a little apprehensive at first because this was the first time I was going to see everyone from work since they found out about my BC.  As I walked up to everyone, I was nervous and felt like I was now different.  But I was wrong.  It was like walking up to my family at a family gathering. The day was very nice.  I did notice myself looking at boobs and hair more than normal.  There is this co-worker of mine that has battled cancer.  She is towards the end of her chemo.  Today, she inspired me!! She looked so beautiful to me.  At one time during our excursion, she took off her head covering and I saw her beautiful head which was showing some hair growth.  I looked at her and she was like a Statue of Liberty.  I felt empowered and it made me see cancer differently. I am going to beat it and I am going to be a beautiful cancer survivor too!!  Just like her.

Met with the lady who is designing my bra with the prosthetic.  This made losing my breast even more real.  As I looked at her and she was explaining all the different types, different colors and different bras, her words started sounding like "blah, blah, blah."  I wanted to say to her so bad, "I don't care what type I get, I don't care what color, I don't care which bra.  Can you just pick it out and let me know how to use it?"  But the nice person that I am, just smiled and acted like I really cared.  After she was done measuring me and letting me know the process, I looked up and saw this sign in her office.  It said, "Believe"  There goes that word again.  Ok, God is bringing me back to earth again. My word that I need to focus  on is staring me back in the face.  As I was getting up to leave, this sweet lady, just looked at me and hugged me.  I felt bad for wanting her to shut up about so many options.  It isn't her fault that I have breast cancer.  She is trying to make it easier for me.  I hugged her back and I hope she knows that I appreciate her and her bras!! :)

Well, today it is it.  Last day with my right breast connected to me.  It is so hard to say goodbye.  Yet, tonight, doesn't feel so hard since I know I am saying goodbye to cancer and hello to life!!  So, goodbye, good riddens, adios, hasta la vista baby, don't let the door hit you in rear, get the heck out of town CANCER!!  Tomorrow, is a new day for me and I am going to shine.  Tomorrow is the beginning of God's plan for my future.  I am excited to see what it is all about!!  

Out of commission for a few days!!  I believe in life and I believe that I am going to beat Breast Cancer!!!