Miami Heat beat the Dallas Mavs!!

Last night at the game was so fun!! People just don't get it.  I am a true Lakers fan.  Have been all my life. Growing up in Los Angeles, it is given.  My dad use to take me to the games to watch Magic Johnson.  Just supporting the Heat since the Mavs beat my Lakers. Game was close but I was so glad Heat won.  Just so I can rub in the faces of Dallas Mav fans that I know.  Because they sure rubbed it in my face when they beat the Lakers.

Woke up today feeling kinda anxious.  The closer it gets to June 15th, the more my mind wonders.  Went to my massage/facial appointment.  It was so relaxing.  As I was laying there on the table, it dawned on me that I won't be able to lay on my stomach for awhile.  Man, it just hit me again that my right boob will be gone in less than 9 days. Then, all of a sudden I got a vision of what I will feel when I wake from surgery. Will I want to look at it right away, will I be ashamed to let Dre and Kristina see or will I be ok with the removal of a part of me that I have since puberty??? Don't know the answer today but it sure scares me.

Had to go drop of my FMLA papers at doctor's office. They feel I will have to be off from work for 2 weeks to heal.  Man, I thought he said that I could return to work after 4 days.  Now, I am nervous.  I don't want to miss much work.  I don't have much sick time left. I just hope chemo isn't long.  Just praying that it won't be more intense that what I am thinking.

Ok, the hair thing.  Was talking with someone today and they asked that question, "How are you going to handle losing your hair??"  The ugly side of me wanted to answer, "How would you handle getting the news you have to have chemo and yes, you are going to lose all your hair???"  But the sweet side of me said, "I will just deal with it and buy lots of hats and big earrings."  Now, I am wondering if I am going to lose my eyebrows and eyelashes.  Now, that really scares me cause I don't know how long that will take to grow back.  Oh, man, I can't believe this is happening to me again.

I feel all the prayers going up and I need them.  It is like I have this prayer blanket wrapped around me.  I love it.  I love knowing that God has the final answer.  He is using me to have a testimony for someone in the future.  That thought makes me excited because I love helping others and this is going to be my chance to help someone later on who finds out they have breast cancer. I love that God is using me in that way.  This helps me to deal.

Looking forward to going to Florida Thursday.  I need this getaway to just focus on what I love and that is spending time with my children.  So once I talk to Ron, no talk about Breast Cancer, Chemo or anything.  Just want to go to the beach, Universal Studios, apartment shop for him and just hang out!!! I am spending 5 days focused on us!!