TGIFHPP!!

Haven't written anything for the past few days.  To be truthful, I have been a little down since my chemo class.  I am trying so hard to not let it affect me but it is.  I am only human, right?? I have the prerogative to feel sadness about that is happening to me.  I am suppose to be working every day, traveling, hanging out with friends and just doing whatever the heck I want to.  But since getting BC, I haven't been able to do any of that.  This arm pain is driving me up the walls.  Yes, I have pain pills but it doesn't seem to totally take away all the pain.

Spent Wednesday and Thursday laying around and just trying to get better.  I was suppose to return to work July 5th but I won't be able to since my arm still isn't functioning well.  Now, my doctor extended me to July 19th.  That sucks.  I miss my work friends and my work environment.  I am tired of just being around the house.  When I see people post TGIF or thing like that, it pisses me off.  Heck, it has TGIF for me every day since my surgery.  Now, I am ready to get back to work so I can look forward to TGIF. :)

Have been watching this show called "The Voice."  I heard this song, "Beautiful" by Christina Aguilera.  This version was with a contestant from the show.  She is a bald woman who is bald because she chose to be. There is this sentence, "I am beautiful, no matter what they say, words can't bring me down." You talk about inspiring.  This really was a song that I needed to hear.  Especially this week.  Once again God giving me signs. Losing my hair has been an issue for me.  But to hear this song and to see this beautiful bald woman, made me smile! What am I tripping on?  I am beautiful no matter what they say.  I need to believe that and just get over the whole issue of losing my hair.  Hair doesn't make me, I make me!!

Woke up today and had a little energy. So I tried to fold some clothes and tidy up a little.  Trying to get my energy level back up so I can attempt to get myself back to where I was so I can be ready to return to work.  However, after an hour of doing this, I had to sit my butt down.  But I did at least try.  Tomorrow, I will have to add 15 minutes to that hour.  I need to work up to what I was capable of doing before the surgery.  Now, my fighting mode is kicking in and I am not going to allow depression or the fear of the unknown to get me down.  It sure tried to mess with my head this week.

Got invited to a July 4th B-B-Que on Monday and I am so excited to get out of the house.  I want to just be around friends and have some fun.  I know I can't do a lot but I can at least go over and find a nice comfy chair and prop myself up like I do here at home.  Just this will be with other people around, kids laughing, and spending time with people I love outside of my house.  So I have two days to build my energy level up.

However, for the rest of the day, I am just going to lay and not do anything else.  I had a huge workout this morning and my arm is starting to ache some more.  So now, I must take one of those pain pills.  As soon as I do, then it will be off to sleepy land and the place of calmness!!  TGIFHPP!! So TGIFHPP for me is: THANK GOD I FINALLY HAVE PAIN PILLS!!  LOL