Chemo knocked me out!!

Well, getting chemo wasn't so bad for the first two days.  I woke up Sunday morning, went to church, had a wonderful lunch with family and went home to rest.  At about 3:00 p.m., chemo hit me like bricks.  I started to feel tired and I started to get pale.  All I wanted to do was lay around the rest of the day.  My appetite started to leave that evening and nothing sounded good to me.  I think I only ate some cereal for dinner.  I took a nausea pill and went to bed fairly early.

Woke up Monday morning, feeling like I was in a bad car accident.  My head hurt, my mouth was sore, my body was aching, my stomach was queasy, my fingers/toes were tingling and I couldn't even barely move.  Going to the bathroom was a chore.  Dre said I looked pale and all I wanted to do was lay, lay, lay.  I spent the whole day laying on the couch and only moving to go to the bathroom.  Each time I got up I was dizzy and feeling very sick.  I was so fooled the first few days.  I thought I was stronger than the chemo but chemo showed me that I was incorrect.  Monday is actually a blur to me since all I did was lay.  I couldn't eat.  I didn't want to eat.  I couldn't even type on the computer.  I did not want to sit up for nothing. I just wanted to be still.  Each movement hurt.  I had to go get a shot to help rebuild my red blood cells.  The nurse told me that this shot was going to probably make me feel even worse the next day.  Well, gee thanks!!  How much worse can I feel?? I go home, crawl back into bed and go to sleep.

Woke up Tuesday morning feeling like CRAP!! My mouth was now covered in white film and some sores.  I had NO taste buds whatsoever and I felt like just dying. My bones were aching and I kept getting these pain twitches.  What the heck was going on.  I really don't remember much from this day.  I just popped pain pills and pills for nausea. I couldn't eat anything because nothing had taste for me.  I was able to manage to eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. But that was a chore in itself.  I knew I had to eat something to try and get energy level up.  This day was also a blur to me.

Today, I started to feel a little better. Better in the since that I can sit up for a while.  I did get another side effect.  The wonderful diarrhea. Slowly, I seem to be getting many of the side effects expected.  But I will have to deal with it the best I can.   So here I sit in bed typing away how I feel.  All I can say is that CANCER and CHEMO suck.  It is the hardest thing to have to go through. I wouldn't wish this on my worse enemy.  I am so tired and hopefully, tomorrow, I will feel better.  I am just ready to be myself.  I know this is going to be a hard time for me but I am going to fight cancer.  You can't reason with cancer and you can't let cancer win.  You have to fight it every step of the way. I am going to kick and scream and not let the ugly cancer take me out.  I am going to show cancer who the boss is, ME!!