So Ready to be Done!

What a nice and relaxing week I have had so far.  After my very busy and exhausting weekend, I haven't really done much except relax and try to get my body ready for my next chemo session!  I am starting to feel really happy and excited.  I only have two more chemo sessions and then I am all done.  Done with the side effects, done with being at home all the time, done with taking all the pills, done with not being able to go to work and done with Breast Cancer.  To be at this stage in the game is a good feeling.  I remember when I was first diagnosed and looking ahead seemed so far away.  That finish line is looking closer and closer each day.

My physical appearance has changed a lot.  It feels weird to have no hair on my head but at the same time it is refreshing.  Not having to do my hair is nice.  I still have my eyebrows and eyelashes.  Kinda weird when I am suppose to lose them.  So everyday I look at myself in the mirror and wait to see if it looks like they are thinning out.  Hair in other places has fallen out but those two areas seem to be intact.  Now, I wonder what color my hair on my head will be when it decides to grow back.  Will it be gray, brunette or another color?  Won't get that answer until it starts to happen.  No matter what color it is, I will feel very happy that it is growing back in.  This bald head isn't so bad.  My family is use to it and they don't make me feel any different.  I really miss my artificial nails.  Had to take them off because I read that my nails might turn black.  Plus, I wanted to stay away from getting any type of infection.  Trying to stay away from crowds and germs.  Chemo kills white blood cells and getting an infection is more likely for a person taking chemo.  I am gaining weight and I hate it.  I was already a big girl and being on the steroids isn't helping.  But I have to be on the steroids to help with the chemo side effects and help fight infection.  So my bodily appearance isn't so pretty but you do what you have to do.  I just want to be all done and get back to being me.  This whole journey is teaching me so much about patience.

I spent the majority of Monday and Tuesday just resting.  However, on Tuesday I had to go see my oncologist to get my blood work done.  I was pleased to find out that my white blood cells, my hemoglobin and my red blood cells looked great!! My doctor told me  that he was so pleased with how well I was doing on chemo.  He told me to continue doing what I was doing.  I had to laugh at that statement.  I wasn't doing anything except resting, watching TV, reading and eating a lot.  But if those things are keeping me well enough to get my chemo treatments, then by golly, I will keep doing it.  :)  It made me feel very happy to know that I am getting chemo and doing so well.  My blessings are continuing and I am so grateful for it.  I know there are so many who are not doing so well medically and I feel selfish being so happy about my outcome.  It doesn't seem fair that I am making it through but there is someone somewhere not doing as well.  All I can say is that I am thankful and that I pray for others to do well.

Today, I woke up feeling a little out of it.  I had a slight headache and my joints were killing me.  Wanted to take a pain pill but I couldn't.  I needed to visit my doctor and then I had lunch plans with my friends from work.  So I slowly got up and got dressed to venture out.  Seeing my friends from work always excites me.  No matter how much pain I was in, I really wanted to see them and suffering for a little while was well worth it.  We had a lovely lunch, laughed with each other and just enjoyed each other's company.  This is the second time since I got sick that I was able to meet with them.  It really helps me when I see them.  Like I had said before, it makes me feel included and like I am part of the team again.  Being at home all summer like I have, has been really lonely.  Just to feel a part of their lives helps me a lot. After lunch, we said our goodbyes and each time I do that, I tear up.  Not sad tears but happy tears.  I am so blessed to have co-workers/friends that really care and love me!  They are my family and when I see them, I am overjoyed.  I just pray that if they ever need me, I can be there for them.  I love them so much and appreciate them being in my life.

I not only appreciate my friends at work, I so appreciate the other important friends in my life.  One such friend and her daughter designed a "Team Evelyn" t-shirt for me.  It is so beautiful and their gesture is so kind.  I plan on wearing this T-Shirt for my Susan G. Komen 3 Day Walk in November.  This shirt can also be part of my fundraising.  My goal is $3000 and I plan on reaching that goal, if not going over it.  This walk is very important to me and very personal.  When I saw the t-shirt design, it made me smile.  Getting Breast Cancer has been a blessing in my life.  I have met some really neat people because of it.  It has opened my eyes and heart to things that I might not have been a part of.

Overall, I had a nice day.  Just like any outdoor excursion, I was whipped by the time I got home from lunch.  It is so funny.  Whenever I go out like that, coming home is like the best feeling.  The fatigue and being exhausted is so overwhelming.  As soon as I step foot in the house, I start stripping down.  Take off my hat, take off my bra, take off my clothes, take off my shoes and then I put my pajamas on.  Before I can say anything, I am in the bed or on the couch and I can literally hear my body saying "Awwwwwwww, it feels so good to be here." LOL  So I spent the rest of the day comatose and just relaxing.  Chemo is in 6 days and I need to get this body ready for another battle!