My Last Chemo Treatment!!!!!!!!

Wednesday was a good day for me.  Didn’t feel sick, had a little energy and the horrible gas that I was dealing with the past few days that was causing me lower back pain had left my body.  The pain left with the help of a multiple of farts.  LOL  I was on a roll but each fart allowed the gas to be released.  My doctor said it was probably from the colonoscopy.  I was just glad that each fart was making me feel much better.  I tried to spend this day just making sure things were in order since I know I was going to be down for about seven days. Had to go to my doctor’s office to get blood work done.  Wait to see doctor and he tells me what I want to hear.  Blood work was great and that he wanted to see me again in 4 weeks.  It felt so good to hear that.  So I just walked my happy self out of his office and went home to try to rest. 

Thursday comes and I didn’t sleep so well the night before.  It is probably due to the fact of mixed emotions.  I am nervous because I know that the side effects will be hard on me but at the same time, I am excited because it will be my last treatment.  This day seemed so far off in June.  I knew it was coming and I believed that I would get here but it is a very surreal feeling.  I BELIEVED from the very beginning that I was going to win this battle with Breast Cancer.  I was determined to stay positive and not allow the disease to control me.  There were some negative days but I was able to fight through them.  My will and my spirit stayed very strong from day one.  This girl has been through so much and I was not going to let this roadblock in life stop me from living a full life.  I have too much I still want to do and I need to be here for all my babies that I love.   I need to be here for Andre.  There are things that I haven’t done yet and I need to do them.  I was not going to let cancer stop me from fulfilling these things. 

I woke up with a HUGE smile on my face.  Today was the day.  That is all I could think about.  I immediately started thanking God for everything.  I have been doing that a lot these days.  I thank God in the morning, when I am eating breakfast, in the toilet, in the shower, heck, I thank God any and everywhere!  I am so thankful for all the blessings that I have received during this journey.  Prayers were answered and I felt them.  It is amazing how I got blessing after blessing all summer.  I once asked my girlfriend a question about why did I feel that I was always giving to so many but I never felt it wasn’t reciprocated back to me.  She said, “Honey, it is reciprocated back to you.  Look how God has blessed you all during this process.  God saw and He is taking care of you now.”  Wow, she was right.  All my good deeds were noticed by God and He is showing me now that He saw.  That thought made me feel good.  I want to please God and be worthy.  I have always had a good heart and always want to see others happy.  Often times more happier than me.  When others hurt, it is hard for me to bear.

Well, I got up and tidied the house up.  Changed bed sheets and got my meds ready for the week.  Took my shower.  While in shower, I felt so revived and free.  As I washed my baldhead and my flat right breast area, I REALLY felt like the winner that I know was in me.  I beat this cancer and today was my last treatment.  In the beginning, my hair and my breast removal seemed so important but today it was the least important.  I just want to see the joy on the people that I love and that love me.  That is what is important. I finish up shower and dry off.  I look in the mirror and I notice that I still have some of my eyebrows and lashes.  They are thinned out but not all gone.  Will I still lose them?? I don’t know.  But we will see.  I get dressed in my “Team Evelyn” shirt and wait for my friend to pick me up.  She was going to take me to lunch and my chemo treatment.  Then Andre was going to come and stay with me towards the end to bring me home.  We go to Olive Garden and I had a wonderful lunch and it was nice.   I always have a pre-chemo meal and this was particularly wonderful.  It was my last pre-chemo meal!! 

After we were done, we head to clinic to get my chemo treatment.  I walk in and my nurse sees me.  The whole office is excited for me.  I can tell.  It is like a graduation of sorts.  This chemo treatment was different than the others.  I slept the whole time.  This is something I have never done before.  So now I am wondering if my side effects are going to be bad.  Oh, well, can’t turn back now.  Must just handle it and push forward.  When I saw the last few drops of the IV drop into my veins, I got this overall feeling to jump for joy.  I couldn’t but sure wanted to.  This had to be added to my list of the “One of the Best Days of my Life.”   As my nurse took out the IV for the last time and I could see she was sad to see me go.  She looked at me and said, “You have a beautiful soul and a great personality.   It was my honor to be your chemo nurse. “  Wow, that was so nice.  However, she was my Angel because she took great care of me at each treatment.  I was sad to leave.  I will most definitely be checking back in to see her over the next months.  Andre and I walk out to the car and I can immediately feel the fatigue coming on.  He takes me home and here I lay in bed to try and write in my blog.  I really wanted to write something before I have to deal with all these side effects.  I normally am shut down and it is hard to sit up and type on computer.  So my blog might not get done for a few days.  I just want to focus on rest and letting the chemo drugs work for the last time. 

Yes, it is was my last chemo treatment but I still need to watch how I take care of my body.  I need to eat healthier, start a exercise program and stick with it, and continue to be proactive in staying on top of my medical needs.  Can cancer come back?  Yes it can.  But it could also touch one of my loved ones.  During this time, I have had two friends diagnosed with cancer.  Cancer has no special friends because it can attack EVERYONE whenever it wants to.  That is why we must continue to pray for cures and donate to help researchers find cures.   It often takes a tragic event for us to want to get involved.  It did for me.  I will never stop being a part of the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer organization because I see how wonderful it is and how it has helped so many women.  It has helped me.  That was the first website that I went to for information.   It calmed my nerves and it gave me hope.  Cancer is out there and it is touching people’s lives each and ever day.  Some live and some die from it. But Cancer didn’t win over here. I fought it, I knocked it out and I stomped on its little old head.   I wanted to live and I was determined to do that.  Yes, we all must die but I was not going to let Cancer be the reason for me.   I am the winner this time and I will continue to fight.  The next five years while I am in remission will be tough but I have to continue to stay positive, pray to God and have hope that it will never come in my life again.  It tried two times to take me out but I had the strength and power to not allow it.  

I AM A FIGHTER, I AM A SURVIOR AND I AM A WINNER!! How you like me now???  :)